The Fail of Mission Get Nack

It was 2am and I was washing out the baby’s bottle at the sink. I was half asleep and the soft glow coming from the hood above the stove wasn’t too bright. But then I heard a sound that jolted me awake with a panic.

It was a loud thud, almost as if someone had thrown themselves or something up against the wall. It came from behind me. I grew up in the ghetto of South Vallejo, Calif., so naturally I thought that it was someone trying to break into my house. Then I remembered that I live in the small, quaint town of “Nothing Ghetto Happens Here” and I calmed my active imagination.

I turned around to find Gordita sitting on top of the Microwave trying to get at the Nack (cat treats) that we keep high up on a shelf. Stitch was sitting on the floor near the Microwave. Gordita looked irritated; Stitch looked at me with the Puss in Boots eyes.

I walked over to Gordita and told her to get down. I had to say it twice again with the angry stern, but not loud because it’s 2am voice. She jumped down and as soon as her paws hit the floor she smacked Stitch. And I mean wacked him good on the head.

I have a theory about it. Gordita and Stitch had a Mission to Get Nack from the shelf. However, they weren’t expecting me to be awake. My assumption is that Stitch was supposed to be the lookout while Gordita grabbed the bag of Nack.

I’m not sure how they missed me over at the sink. A light was on and I wasn’t being silent as I rinsed out the bottle. Either they truly didn’t see me or Gordita thought that she had enough skill to gracefully jump up on the microwave without a sound. However, with a name like “Gordita” I promise you that a silent, graceful jump up is anything up possible.

Needless to say, no Nack was stolen that night. Mission Get Nack was an epic Fail.